Some Stuff I Hadn’t Said Before

The last couple of weeks have proven to be too much for this blog writer’s ability to throw up prose on a screen, however lame that prose might turn out to be. Truly:  I haven’t picked up a crochet hook or sat down at my machine one single time, so the blog isn’t the only sadly neglected thing around here.

In an aside, Jeff and I recently celebrated our non-wedding anniversary. We’ve been together for 9 years. We’re secretly somewhat sentimental, so every couple of years we re-enact our first date. We went to Galveston and played miniature golf and ate at Sonic. We play golf still, but usually now we skip the fast food and get something decent to eat and a nice margarita or something. This time we were afraid our old golf place was trashed (it wasn’t), because Galveston is still struggling to recover from Hurricane Ike last year. So the pictures of damage and recovery are really a tribute to the residents’resiliency in the face of disaster.

Also, in very short form, I have:

1. been very irritated. It’s been so hot and so dry here, for so long, that I think my brain is frying inside my head. Some people get depressed when it’s cold and dark. I get depressed when it’s sunny and hot.
2. been scared and worried. Audrey got sick again. She was in the hospital getting “doggie dialysis” for another 5 or 6 days. She is home now, and feeling muuuch better. We had a few gut-churning, exhausting days.

I have also:

1. become incrementally older. I turned 34 last week. It was mostly a nonevent. My birthday involved waiting for Audrey’s test results to see if she could come home, which she did! All in all, it was a good present.
2. been irritated and frustrated. The medical establishment has succeeded in stymying me on finding out more about my ongoing health issues. I have become angry with more than one doctor for not recognizing that the body is more than the sum of its parts. Specialization is all very well and good, but last time I checked, I was a fairly organic whole.

I write about this because, if you haven’t realized, this blog is really about the creative side of me, and how that works itself out in terms of mundane existence. Creativity seems to be, for me, rarely about the dramatic moments. Instead it’s about how to be creative in the midst of it all. Part of that is the dry spells.  All in all, it’s been a couple of weeks that were not  conducive to creative output, because when I get emotionally distressed, I retreat inside myself until I can think hard enough about it and process it. So I feel creatively ambivalent, as if my brain has been muffled. My right brain takes a holiday, and my left brain takes over and begins issuing orders like a drill sergeant about how to get stuff accomplished. It’s amusing and has its uses in getting through rough patches, but I really can’t sew like this.

I know better than to force creative activity.  I know that forcing it will only turn up something painfully lame and embarrassing, and will make me throw things out of impatience. All I can summon up at the moment is some cooking, so that, at least is a small meditative outlet. As usual, when it gets painfully hot, I have started cooking spicy soup with fall squash. My instinct is always to stick out my tongue, metaphorically speaking, at whatever is irritating me!

I leave you with a rare picture of me, apparently trying to get a sunburn and a few more freckles sitting on some stairs at the Galveston Seawall. The sun only does one thing to me these days: fry me like a side of bacon.

Here’s hoping for some right brain moments!  TTFN, Miriam