The Dog Sweater

While Audrey was seriously ailing, I just could not stop thinking about a sweater I was making for her.

When I’m upset about a given situation, I usually fixate on some object, and can be found weeping brokenheartedly over whatever it is as if the world is ending.  It’s usually not the object itself that’s upsetting, it’s that I’ve picked an object that symbolizes what it is about the situation that’s really bothering me.

Audrey's Unfinished Sweater

In this case, I found myself crying over an unfinished sweater, one I started about a year and a half ago, and have not made much headway on since then. I’d been figuring I could put it off, that I had plenty of time to finish it, because Audrey is just 8.5 years old, and what’s another winter or two when I have so much to do all the time?  And then to find that maybe she’d be gone before I could finish it … So I cried over it and well, I guess it was just my turn to get smacked upside the head by the realization that I don’t actually have all the time in the world.

There I was with this sweater, and I’m thinking that my priorities in life are out of alignment.  If I do not have all the time in the world, it stands to reason that I ought to do what’s important first, and get rid of what I don’t care about. And what’s important to me is the people/animals I care about, my ongoing need to make/create things, and particularly to create things for others, learning and experiencing new things, and my strong sense of personal philosophy and ethics.  These things are really crucial to my well being and happiness.

While I think my life generally reflects those things, I still think I make too many compromises.  I know perfectly well what I think I ought to be doing and why, and since I’m not exactly the type that’s comfortable with compromising, just what do I think am I doing?  It’s not as though I’m going to get this time back that I spend on things that are not near and dear to me, or that aren’t in line with things I believe in.

So I am back working on that sweater, by the way, which will be finished this week, although it’s been a balmy 70 degrees here. It will be ready if it gets cold, and I will feel better knowing I put the time in now, and I made an effort to take care of my pup, because I noticed what she did and didn’t like about sweaters and did something about it.  It might be a small step, but in the right direction at least.  I’m also back working on my birches quilt also, which is why I’ve pulled out pictures of branches here with this post.  Inspiration from nature is always helpful.

Now if I could just get past the fact that I decided to make the sweater with part wool, even though I know perfectly well I’m allergic to it …