A little reflection …

(Today’s photographs are courtesy one of Austin’s universities, Concordia, which has recently sold its long-time central Austin campus and moved up north somewhere. Although I hear it’s a nice new place, it’s sad when a landmark disappears, so I went over and recorded some of it for posterity one day.)

Hi again! Remember me?  I’m still here, and even a bit more awake today than I have been.

Last Tuesday I admitted defeat and gave myself permission to check out for a while. Normally I’m a pretty energetic driven person, and am really quite insane with the level of things that I try to accomplish with each of my days. I’m always coming up with new things to try out. Have I mentioned the Appalachian Trail?  No? I’ll get to that.

It’s unusual when everything gets to be too much, but it happens sometimes. As of last Thursday I was so mentally cashed out I wasn’t sure I was going to make it through my day. We won’t even talk about Friday.

My job takes a toll on me because information management is at the core of my job. I love information management, actually, I could be a one-woman CIA, but sometimes, when there are thousands of bits of disparate data to be wrangled in an appallingly short period of time, it can be exhausting. It doesn’t help that I’m a ferocious perfectionist.

I’m still not through recuperating. I made about a half-hour’s attempt to do something crafty yesterday.  A very large and very irritating and somewhat upsetting error made me realize I still really am not minded to do anything even remotely challenging with my brain yet. I stopped, put everything neatly away, and did not fix.  I knew the “fix” would work out just as well as the original attempt.

I did try to acknowledge how tired I was. On Saturday I played Zelda on the Wii for a shocking amount of time.  I love Zelda.  It’s a very pretty game with castles, lots of water and sunsets and sunrises (Japan does medieval Europe!) as well as odd creatures.  I love quests, too.  And the new Wii controllers let you swing your arms about and really get into that sword-fighting.  I just have to be careful not to accidentally bash my husband and dog in the head.

Then on Sunday I read an entire book (and not a serious one by any means) and finished up by having tea and crumpets. Before you laugh, I read a lot of British fiction and I never did know what crumpets were. I saw some in the bakery of the grocery tonight and just had to try them. It’s probably a pale substitute, but hey, I’m in Texas, I do what I can!  I bought lemon curd to eat with my tea too, does that count?  Has my accent changed yet?

Presumably I will feel back to normal one of these days. I do think, however, that I need to consider cutting back somewhere in my life before I burn out really badly.  I feel that coming on.  I mean, I know I like to be busy (manic, really) but I think I’m at that point where it’s time to be realistic.  I keep thinking of new things to add to my lists of stuff to do/accomplish, but I suspect that I’m going to need to schedule more brain rest in there somewhere.

I’m coming up on my first blogging anniversary, too, and beginning to reflect on what the past year has brought me.  I didn’t really expect it, but I’ve learned a lot from this year.  A lot.  I’ve learned quite a bit from the self-reflection of writing, and I’ve learned a lot from others’ blogs as well.  I’ve been inspired to alter not only the direction of my writing and my blog, but life as well.  I’ll be pondering all that when I get a minute.

Other People’s Blogs.  I’ve been inspired, frustrated and overwhelmed.  Some people just floor me.  What I’ve seen has made me joyful, sad and angry.  I don’t understand all the perspectives I read.  I agree with some, others are provoking, still others are just not really meant for me.  People are truly a mass of conflicting ideas and emotions and thoughts.  Blogs, when done right, are a really incredible method of exploration and expression.

Ah, well, that’s enough reflection for the day.  I’ll return tomorrow (or the next day) with more … I’m just going to go with the flow for now, as they say.  Just thinkin’ about the state of things, and maybe, just maybe, I’ll bake a cake.  Because if I’m going to have tea, I might as well have cake and crumpets, right?