2008 and counting

I’ve been contemplating 2007 via pictures, and thinking about what to write in my “it’s a new year” post. Shall I make resolutions? Shall I consider them a lost cause? Shall I stick to hoping I can get our holiday decorations down in time for spring? Hmmm …

I’m leaning toward making resolutions. I am going to endeavor to not make this into an opportunity to overachieve, but that’s such an integral part of my personality I am already okay with failing that part of it. Instead of specific things, though, I’m going to look at areas of my life I think need enhancement or improvement - things that would make me less frustrated and more happy.

Technological barriers: I think of technology as sets of tools, and although I’ve picked up some and use them frequently, I’m at the point where I need to either put some decent time and energy into what I’m doing or accept my limitations. I don’t really accept limitations well, so I’ll be giving myself some lessons in things, specifically Illustrator and PHP. I need to stop being an “expert dabbler” in complicated things because that’s just ridiculous and in the end, defeating when you can’t quite do what you want to on your own.  I think doing this will give me a huge sense of relief and eliminate a lot of my frustrations.

Sense of accomplishment or completion: I really need more of this to feel better about my crafting in particular.  I get fidgety and move between projects a lot, but I think that’s not a great approach. I need to put my energy into finishing the projects that have been languishing. I think this will make me worry less about things I’m not doing that I think I “should” be doing (I hate the word “should”). I also think it will allow for more creativity eventually when I can move the “stale creativity” (old projects) out of my head space. For example, the granny square blanket I began in 2005. So, no more new projects until I’ve completed the old ones. Applies to all things, but particularly my crocheting and sewing.

Spend time on things that are important to me: I get caught up pretty easily in minutiae & pointless activities (or sometimes endless reruns of Law and Order - you know how they start the next episode before the first is really done? So annoying.) and end up not doing the things that are really important to me, which leaves me feeling like the days are passing swiftly in an endless sea of repetitive nothingness. This is depressing.  I should stop doing this.

Use more paper: No no, just kidding. This is an odd one, but it really means I want to write and draw more.   It means I want more sort of “raw” self-expression.  This is the antithesis to the finishing projects one above, and is all about not perfecting things, but just sort of sketching or doodling or playing with ideas and colors and techniques without needing to feel as though I have to finish something, or perfect it, or even see it through to some illogical end.  I need to change up what I’m thinking about, and get my ideas out and into some kind of life, even if I look back at my 3-headed monster and shake my head in bewilderment later.

Be more thoughtful and intentional:  Relatedly, I think the big projects I undertake this year should be few and very carefully chosen and most importantly - achievable.  If I want a project, I think I ought to consider taking on small projects instead that have short life spans.  It is part of the Crafter by Night (and weekends) problem that I must consider what I do and how I do it more carefully, and put my time to better use lest I feel as though I can’t accomplish anything and am just trying to get by.  I have a lot of ideas, lots of energy, but … I can’t not sleep.

I hope with these resolutions that I will find that I can achieve my aim:  to foster my  creativity, cut down on being overwhelmed, and do things that give me joy.  You know what?  I really hope too that I don’t sound like a new-age self-help book, but I fear that I do.  I guess we’ll see!!